he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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