5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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