Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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