you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize