im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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