I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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