A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize