i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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