You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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