I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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