I want to stick my p in your. b.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
