My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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