Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
