come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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