hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
