i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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