Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
