So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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