those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
where does the pee come out of this thing
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
