My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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