I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
