i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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