What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need to calm my uterus...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
