i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
