It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
