What did we do last night that was yellow?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize