You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
