I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
