Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize