Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize