You really coming over, don't trick.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
