Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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