I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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