Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
