It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
