Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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