Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I will pee on everything he values.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
