I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
