It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
