I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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