So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
