just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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