shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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