am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
