theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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