No, drunk sperm still make babies.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
