first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize