yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
