If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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