Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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