things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We just shotgunned beers for America
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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