We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
