Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
