i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize