she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
