OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
