How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
