$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
