question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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