I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
