We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
