Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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