Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
