my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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