I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
People in love make me want to vomit
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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