i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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