need another drink. this is the easiest way
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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