hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
vagina is talking i cant
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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