whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
