How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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