So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize
