okay pat passed out under dana's car
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
